Talking about loneliness really matters

Feeling lonely is something many of us experience at different points in our lives. Although loneliness can affect people at any age, later life can bring some pretty big changes that make it more difficult to stay socially connected. 

Yet loneliness is not something to feel embarrassed about. Recognising it in ourselves or others close to us can help. Talking about it can be even better.  

It is important to remember that loneliness is not the same as being alone. Some people enjoy spending lots of time by themselves, while others prefer being around people more often. There is no right or wrong amount of social contact. What matters is whether you have the type and level of connection that feels meaningful and right for you.  

But we know that for many older people, that balance just isn’t right for them.   

There is no right or wrong amount of social contact. What matters is whether you have the type and level of connection that feels meaningful and right for you.  

Our research highlights that well over half of people over the age of 50 in Scotland are experiencing loneliness and 1 in ten are lonely all or most of the time. That’s the equivalent of an older person on every street who is facing chronic loneliness. Older people who are living on a low income, in poor health or living alone are more likely to feel this way than others.   

Older people often tell us that life changes can play a big part in their feelings of loneliness.   

Retirement can be one of those changes. For many people, work provides more than an income as it offers routine, conversation and regular contact with others. Shared challenges and collective camaraderie offers the chance to bond. Adjusting to having a different structure to your days and the loss of those connections is hard and can take time.  

Changes in relationships can also affect how connected we feel. This may include bereavement and the loss of a loved one, moving home, family or friends relocating, or breakdowns of relationships. Even when these changes are expected, they can still leave us missing the social connections we once relied on.  

Our health can make a difference, too. Challenges with physical health, mobility, confidence or changes in mental wellbeing may make it harder to get out and about or continue doing activities that once felt easy. When that happens, it can become more difficult to get going again and maintaining, or growing, our social connections.  

There can also be practical barriers. Financial pressures may mean people have less money available for social activities. As more and more older people feel financially squeezed, and often struggle paying the ever-increasing household bills, they are cutting back on socialising, entertainment and travel. Living in rural areas can make transport and access more challenging, too. And where social opportunities are promoted or organised online, older people who don’t use the internet access, can be cut out.

Loneliness is not something to feel embarrassed about. Recognising it in ourselves or others close to us can help. Talking about it can be even better.

For many people, however, one of the biggest challenges is stigma around loneliness. Feeling lonely can feel difficult to talk about because we worry about judgement, pity or being misunderstood. But loneliness is more common than many of us realise, and talking about it can be the first step towards feeling more connected.  

Although loneliness can feel overwhelming, there are often small steps that can help. Reconnecting with family or friends, even after a long time, can lead to meaningful conversations and renewed relationships. Staying active through sport or gentle exercise can support both physical and mental wellbeing while creating opportunities to meet others. 

Building social connection does not always mean making big changes. Sometimes it begins with one small step, one conversation or one new opportunity.

Looking closer to home can help too. Libraries, community centres and local groups often provide welcoming opportunities to try something new and connect with people who share similar interests. We are so proud to work with and support hundreds of older people’s community groups across the country as members of Age Scotland. Individually, they do many things, but at their heart they provide meaningful connections and help people to feel part of their local communities  

Lifelong learning, whether that is getting to grips with a new language, exploring local history or developing a new skill, can offer both enjoyment and connection over that shared interest.  

Volunteering can also be a powerful way to feel part of something bigger by supporting others while meeting people and building confidence.  

Building social connection does not always mean making big changes. Sometimes it begins with one small step, one conversation or one new opportunity. No one should feel they have to manage loneliness on their own. Support, understanding and connection are available.